Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize