Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
