A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
