I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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