Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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