i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
