Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
