She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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