i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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