one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
