So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
