I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
