your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
