I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
