The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
