He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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