Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
