the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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