Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
two words...techno handjob
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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