come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
