My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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