nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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