You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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