it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
