then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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