If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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