did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
