I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
