then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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