I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
