You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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