i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
