I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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