Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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