i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
