I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
