eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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