idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
