She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize