I want to make a zoo with you.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
