I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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