and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need to stop coming to work sober
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
