Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
