My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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