I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
