dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
