He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
