I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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