They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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