Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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