OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
