Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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