sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
