you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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