Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This house was built for laser tag.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
