I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
