so that wasnt chicken after all
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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