its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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